Saturday, December 06, 2008

in loving memory of Noelle

Unfortunately our little family suffered a pretty huge blow this week.

On Wednesday, I went in to our midwives' office for a routine appointment. Everything was going along pretty normally until my midwife E went to look for the baby's heartbeat. She searched and searched with the doppler, but couldn't pick anything up. She called in another midwife, who searched and searched. More silence. They booked me in for an urgent ultrasound to figure out what was going on. Needless to say, I was freaking out.

I drove from our midwives office to pick Ru up at work, and we went to the ultrasound office together. They wouldn't let Ru into the room with me while they did the scan. Scan done. The poor ultrasound technicians couldn't tell me anything - I had to wait for a call from E to see what was going on. But at this point, I felt deep down that it wasn't going to be good news.

I was right. E called us to say that our precious little one had passed away. She said that we could go in to the hospital that night to speak to someone about our options, or we could wait until the morning. Knowing that a night's sleep wasn't going to change anything in the long run, we chose to wait until Thursday morning to head in.

We went up to the hospital for 9:30am. All of the staff was absolutely fabulous, even though we had never met any of them before. They got my history, went over everything and got us into our own room. We found out that since I was already 18 weeks along, I was essentially going to have my labour induced. Not the happiest thought. But it had to be done.

I had my first dose of Misoprostol at just after noon, and my second dose at just after 4pm. Our little girl, Noelle, was born not long after 7pm. It turns out that she was perfect. She just happened to get herself tangled up in her cord and passed away. Stupid dumb luck, as Ru would say.

Noelle C.P.
18 weeks and 2 days in utero.
Forever in our hearts.
We miss you baby girl.

13 comments:

Summer said...

I love you guys... "Stupid" and "dumb" seem like too-small words for what happened... I haven't seen you in forever, and I'm miles and miles away, but I'm crying at my keyboard and wishing I/someone could help. Know that I'm sorry...

Noelle's my middle name - which I love - so she lives with me, too. Hugs and hugs to you...

FireMom said...

Oh, you guys. I am heartbroken for you. I'm crying at your loss.

May you be able to find peace eventually. In the meantime, grieve it out.

Let me know if you need anything.

ChristiS said...

oh, hon....I'm so so sorry that this has happened! Bless you and your sweet little baby. I'm praying for you!

Karla Meachem said...

I can't even begin to imagine the pain that you are experiencing right now; I am so sorry for the loss of your precious baby girl.

I love her name...so pretty...she'll always be a precious part of your lives.

Sending prayers & hugs your way.

Jen said...

You know you are in my thoughts. I wish you peace while you deal with this sad experience.

Wendy said...

so sorry about Noelle! I hope you feel better soon! Your in my thoughts!!
xx

spyderkl said...

I came here from Firemom's Twitter feed. I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. *hugs*

mamamilkers said...

What a beautiful, perfect name for your baby girl. You are all in my thoughts. Please take care.

Sybil

kidletsmum said...

(((HUGS))) my dear friends. All kinds of love coming at you from the other side of the world.

C i n d y said...

Ruthanne and Melanie, I'm so sorry for your loss. I was devastated to hear the news. Much love to you.

Lee Rose said...

Melanie,

I'm thinking of you and your family -

Love,

Lee.

Marie said...

I am so sorry for your tragic loss.

Erin said...

I'm just now reading this. I have tears streaming down my face. I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how you all must be feeling. I'll keep you all in my thoughts. Hang in there.