Wednesday, December 10, 2008

new traditions

With Christmas Eve just two weeks away, I was reminded today of how our traditions will be shaped by last week's events from here on in. While the holiday season will always be one of happiness and closeness, it will also be a season when we're reminded of the little one who's not here to celebrate with us.

When I was at the hospital last Thursday delivering Noelle, we were given a stained glass heart by hospital staff to hang on our door during our stay. A little reminder to those coming into the room that the labour at hand was a little different that usual. We got to take the heart with us when we left that night, and it went up onto the tree the moment we got home. From the top of the tree it looks out at us, reminding us that Noelle is close in spirit, if not in body.

Then on Sunday when we braved the One of A Kind Show, we saw that one of our favourite vendors had come out with a new ornament in their collection this year. A beautiful little angel in a pink and white dress. We immediately knew that it would make a perfect ornament to honour our little girl. She seems to have a bit of a mischevious smile, as we're sure any little one of ours would have.

The two reminders of Noelle sit side by side on the tree. While on one hand it's hard for me, as I was supposed to be halfway through this pregnancy at Christmas, it's also nice to know that she'll be with us for Christmas. She wasn't ready for the world for some reason, and that's okay. We respect the fact that while she chose us as her family, she couldn't be born into the world this spring. Noelle needed to be here for Christmas. And she will be.


mamamilkers said...

Oh wow, what beautiful reminders of your little angel! Perfect.

Laura McF said...

That's so beautiful and sweet. I'm so heartbroken for you guys - I can't even imagine how hard this must be. But she'll always be your little angel. *hugs*

Wendy said...

Great mementos...I'm sure she will never be forgotten. My heart goes out to the both of you.

Marie said...

A lovely tradition. My parents lost a baby as an infant and recieved a beautiful angel for their Christmas tree from a friend in honor of my sister. Every year when we took our angel "Elisabeth" out to place her on the tree my Mom and Dad were weepy but in time they were able to share w/us the joy their angel brought them as well. I hope you never forget the joy your Noelle brought to you in her little life.